Monday, February 06, 2006

What's the point?

Mordechai (6): I have a question. Why does "sorry" make [anything] better? It's just a word.

cross-posted at
Our Kids Speak

9 comments:

Ezzie said...

That's actually a great question, though I have an answer. :) What did you say?

Anonymous said...

I also have an answer, what was yours... Sorry is a well expressed word, but only if used sincerely....

Rachel said...

I think it is representative of acknowledging that you wronged a party, whether willingly or unwillingly...Although, Mordechai, you are soon to learn that sometimes it is the actions that follow, not the word "sorry" itself, that mean something! What a wise kid...

Ayelet said...

Ezzie - I'd love to hear it. I don't remember exactly what I said but since he hadn't actually done anything wrong in that particular instance (just trumped up charges by his sister, Sari), I explained to him that sometimes it just makes the other person feel better. It makes them feel that you understand they were upset and you feel bad about that. I think I was trying to get across to him that sometimes all you need to soothe someone's ruffled feathers is to validate their feelings. My hope is that his wife will thank me one day. ;)

Anonymous - please, please sign your name! It's times like these that I seriously consider disallowing anonymous comments but then I consider all my technologically challenged acquaintences who would shrug their shoulders and move on if they saw something as terrifying as the words "sign up for a blogger account". Anyhoo, tell me what you would have answered him.

Rachel - Welcome! I don't believe we've met. I agree with you. I think it is about acknowledgment and validation.

Rebecca said...

In a way, I tend to agree with him. Sorry is just a word. You know how often someone as said sorry to me only to do the same thing they were apologizing for 5 minutes later. It's a catch 22. You want someone to be sorry but you want the words to mean something. I guess that's what Mordechai meant. A lot of times in school (his class especially, I remember) when little kids do something to eachother the teacher prompts them to say sorry. This is a meaningless apology because it is forced. I guess he is just seeing it in that way and not when it is really sincere. (sorry for pscyhoanalyzing your son!!) But in situations like that, I agree with him. It is just a word!

Ayelet said...

The worst is when the following happens: A kid hits/pushes/wrongs my kid in the park. The other parent jumps in to apologize. That's all fine. But then, the parent turns to her child and demands that child apologize. Child refuses. Parent starts futile argument with child (sometimes going as far as hitting child!) in an effort to get child to say the word "sorry". How pointless is that?

Rebecca said...

do as I say not as I do

u know who said...

Wow, deep thinking at a young age is a good sign for future gemara learners - my nephew at age 3 or 4 saw me cleaning chicken and asked "Are you cleaning chicken? Is the chicken still alive? Oh. so it doesn't hurt the chicken, right? Because it's not alive?" My reaction was, gemarakup! 2 years later, he's still a deep thinker but more advanced.
HE said to my sister on Rosh Hashana, "I don't understand, if you do teshuva every year you'll keep doing teshuva your whole life and you're never finished! Talk about precocious. Keep up the good work, Mordechai!

Ayelet said...

Eli, thanks for dropping by. You have great stuff to add! You just might become my favorite commenter. Don't be a stranger, now ...