Purim 2009!

From Rochelle and Mordechai's wedding

Beating Eggs

On Friday, Ada and I were preparing challah dough. I was narrating the process and after we had checked the eggs to make sure they were kosher, I announced that I was going to beat the eggs. After I had whisked them for a few moments, Ada called out in glee:

"You won!"

Mordechai was complaining about the lack of scheduled activites for Erev Yom Kippur.

“I’m gonna be so bored!” he said.

I pointed out that we could play, read, and eat. I also mentioned that we still had to do tashlich. Then I added, "Oh, and we have to do kapparos tomorrow!"

His response: "Yeah, but what's the point of doing kapparos…there’s no poor people in Palm Beach!"

A g'mar chatimah tovah to all!

Bathroom Geography

The shower curtain in the kids' bathroom is a huge political world map. Ada insists that I stay in the bathroom while she sits and waits for things to happen (or longer) and makes me tell her the name of specific places that she points out. The toilet is situated facing the southern hemisphere directly in front of South America. I think she thinks Brazil is the most important place in the world because, from her vantage point, it's pretty prominent.

Of course, she's familiar with Florida, New York, Pennsylvania, and some of the states through which we drove in the summer. This morning she went off her usual path and asked me what was to the left of "George" (Georgia). I told her it was Alabama.

Ada: And what's next to Alabamer?

me: Mississippi.

Ada (cracking up with laughter): Mississippi Richmond?
(Mrs. Tzippy Richmond is a friend that recently moved down to Florida and teaches in our school)

Next...

Ada: Where's Africa?

me (sweeping my hand over the continent): This whole bunch of countries are all part of the continent called Africa.

Ada: So what's this whole thing?

me: That's South America. And this is North America. This is Europe. And this big, big continent is called Asia.

Ada (cracking up again): That sounds like Ada! (chuckling to self) Asia (pronounced Ay-juh)

Ada: What's that yellow one?

me: That's South Africa.

Ada: Where's North Africa?

me: Oh, there is no country called North Africa. You know, Chef Lisa (a specialty teacher in school) comes from South Africa!

Ada (eyes wide): She drives all the way from there to Florida to come to school?

me: Oh, no! She used to live in South Africa but she came to Florida a long time ago on a plane. Now she lives in Florida.

Ada: The plane flew over the ocean?

me: That's right!

Ada: Where do the kangaroos live?

me: Australia.

Ada: Right. Australia....Okay, I'm done now.

Adina, this one's for you

Dovid offered to brush Ada's hair for her after the bath because she was complaining that it was getting in her eyes.

Dovid: Okay. I'll do it very gently.

Ada: Good. 'Cuz Mommy does it very hurty.

Big brother wisdom

Mordechai to Sari: So which seat are you in?

Sari: I'm the second to the last seat in the second row.

Mordechai: Good. If you're sitting in the back, that means you're good.

First Grade blues

Sari's reaction to her first day of First Grade:

"In first grade there's no standing up. You have to sit all day."

Ugh. School can be such boring torture.

Day 2: "We have to write every day!"

Where's the PAUSE button?!

Do you ever get the urge to put time on pause so you could get through a mountain of "to-dos" and, then, hit play when you're all caught up and ready for the world to keep turning? Ah, well. Maybe it's just me ;)

No one likes the pushy salesman.

Makes sense. Just be yourself - a good Jew. Torah sells itself.

Breaking news!

Dovid, after a grueling 7 hour oral exam, has passed and gotten his smicha. We're very proud to have a bona fide rabbi in the family!


These were given to me in lieu of a Yerushalayim shel zahav (Jerusalem of gold). Cheapo ;)

Ready or not....

...here it comes. The truck is due Wednesday or Thursday. I've been packing continually and it's just starting to look like I've made a dent. You can't imagine the amount of stuff we have managed to accumulate in this small 2-bedroom apartment! The playroom and living room/dining room have been one and the same for five years now. It'll certainly be a nice change to live in a house with a playroom that has a door that can be closed in case of need. Perhaps I'll even be able to successfully establish a no jumping or eating on the couch rule! And we'll even have a lawn and our very own palm tree. Check it out:



I am so serious when I say anyone is welcome to crash at our house. Think about it: free stay on Palm Beach island - home of the rich and famous, just one block from the beach in one direction and a block from the intracoastal waterway in the other. Just look up the Mays in Palm Beach.

Procrastination: trial

My moving truck is coming in a week and a half. I've been blog-browsing for over an hour. Procrastinating? Oh yeah. Guilty as charged - big time.

Kvelling

Mordechai (who's having trouble falling asleep so I let him come out to read) just handed me a little gift. It's a piece of paper folded first accordion-style and then folded in three. On the outside are printed the words USA MAP. When unfolded, you see a drawing of the U.S. with many (mostly rectangular) divisions indicating states. Texas and Florida are fairly true to shape. Actually, on second glance, Florida is very well drawn. He was beaming as he watched me unfold it and made sure to point out, "I even folded it like a real map!"

Calendar Calculations

It was a week or so after Shavuos and the kids and I were out when I met a friend who had recently had a baby. As I congratulated her, I asked her how old the baby was. She answered that she was just about seven weeks old. Barely a few seconds passed and Mordechai piped up, "Was she born on Pesach?"

So many boys, so little time

Sari is blessed with many eligible bachelors who are vying for her hand in marriage. The two front-runners at the moment are Yisrael and Ben. In truth, Ben, who is a good friend of Sari's, was not a consideration until recently when the match was suggested by Mordechai. Sari immediately dismissed the idea saying, "Oh, I can't marry him because he's younger than me." Mordechai pointed out that their aunt is a few months older than their uncle, her husband. Sari was skeptical at first and asked me for corroboration. When I informed her that, indeed, it was okay to marry someone a bit younger than her, her face brightened perceptibly and she started dancing around the house singing, "I'm going to marry Be-en! I'm going to marry Be-en!"

Some "alone time" for Mom and Dad

Mordechai and Sari wanted to go to Meema (their grandmom) for Shabbat. Discussing it, I cried out in mock horror, "Who's going to stay with us?"

Sari answered matter-of-factly, "Mommy will stay with Daddy and Daddy will stay with Mommy." Mordechai chimed in, "You'll get to spend time with each other."

Isn't that sweet?

Wrong foot

Ada (2 1/2) is all too familiar with the experience of trying to put her shoe on the wrong foot. She usually figures it out when she realizes she is having way too much trouble than would normally be expected from a harmless velcro shoe. The other day she was trying to put on her sock by herself and the sock just didn't seem to want to cooperate. She turned to me in frustration and asked, "It's the wrong foot?"

Ugh. No words.

As Seraphic Secret suggests, you must see this: an adorable play put on by adorable children in Gaza.

Brilliant.

You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.

--William D. Tammeus

Ada-isms

Ada's into the stage where she loves to reminisce as in, "'Member when we went on the train and we went 'round and 'round and I had a buckle...?"

"Dreh-fis" = breakfast in Adaspeak.

p.s. I packed my first box of dishes! This move is really going to happen.

p.p.s. Anyone want to donate a high riser or twin beds to the Cuties?

p.p.p.s. I was just remembering how we used to think it was the epitome of cleverness to add numerous post scripts to letters. (How 'bout the kids that did it wrong by writing p.s.s.s.?)

Sibling dynamics

It's so not fair for Sari. She's at an age when hearing "I won't be your friend if you won't let me have your (insert toy/candy/article of interest)" from Mordechai leaves her with no be'chira (choice). Meanwhile, she could say the same thing and Mordechai responds with a shrug and a smirk. It irks me so. And I hate when Mordechai devises a "trade" agreement to swindle her out of her property. I've instituted a no-trades-allowed-without-maternal-approval rule which also includes an all-trades-can-be-reversed-if-regretted clause. Is that silly of me? I'm just trying to level the playing field.

Speaking of little parenting questions, let me run this one by you. Say, for example, Mordechai wants to lie down in Daddy's bed. If he gets permission, then everyone wants to lie in Daddy's bed. (Yes, this does get ridiculously out of hand too many a time. I told Dovid this was going to happen years ago.) So sometimes he asks if he can go to Dad's bed after the girls fall asleep. Since this is really not a problem for Dad, it seems like the perfect solution. Obviously, though, there is that element of deceit. So, good or no good? Or how 'bout the simple, "You can have another cookie but don't let Ada see it."? (Ack! What is up with that punctuation? I'll research it some other time when I get a round tuit.)

Just a sampling

Mordechai's rebbe talks the yeshiva talk with the kids which they love. They feel like they're in really serious shiur. Mordechai tries to insert these "learning" phrases into his vocabulary whenever appropriate and it's adorable. At one se'udah on Shavuot, we had the whole Queens branch of the May Fam over. There was some lively conversation going on and I was agreeing with my bro-in-law, Yoni, about something or other, and said, "That's exactly what I always say!" Mordechai made a mock show of being very impressed and said, "Ooooh. Yoni was m'chaven to Mommy!"

For the last se'udah we ate out (after three meals hosting numerous guests, baruch Hashem). After the meal, the kids were all enjoying way too much candy while I was lounging in the other room flipping through books. I called out to the kids that that was enough junk food for the day. Just a few minutes later, Dovid found Sari and her friend Shayna, sitting hidden away at the bottom of the backyard stairs. He asked her why she was hiding there and she replied with a twinkle in her eye and her irrepressible smile, "I'm hiding from Mommy because I got another taffy!"

Ada has a wonderful method of self praise. As she's cleaning up a game, she sings, "I like the way Ada's cleaning..." Today she requested some participation from me. She turned to me and said, "You say 'Nice job Ada'."

Who is rich?

The conversations during carpool are so amusing - when the kids are not arguing at the top of their lungs, that is. A snippet of today's discussion:

Mordechai: My father is so rich. He's probably the richest in the class!

Friend: Oh yeah? How much money does he have? A hundred? A thousand? A million?

M: I don't know exactly but I know it's a lot.

F: My father is so rich. I know because every week, when he pays the babysitter, he gives her a hundred dollars.

M: Yeah. Well my father pays my babysitter two hundred and fifty dollars!

Well that settles it then, doesn't it?

Oh, brother!

Mordechai was wondering about Mothers' Day and about how the whole thing got started. I explained to him the whole Hallmark thing. He then asked, "Why don't they have Brothers' Day?"

"Well, um, I don't really know," I replied.

Mordechai shrugged and said, "It doesn't matter anyway because one day I'll be a father."

UPDATE: I was telling the story over to Dovid when Sari piped up to say, quite matter-of-factly, "On Mothers' Day all the non-Jewish fathers take the mothers to a fancy restaurant."

Got that Dovid?

Israel warms our hearts

Edelavor

That's elevator in AdaSpeak. Yum.

BIG NEWS

Ada has been walking around telling everyone she meets that she's going to "Acamy Palm Beach" and she's getting a "napsap" in which she'll put her "shtraw cup with milk" and a notebook. For those of you who haven't yet heard the BIG news, here it is:

We're moving to Palm Beach!

You heard right. We're headed down to sunny Florida, to the island of the palm trees. Dovid has been appointed by the Judy Steinberg Hebrew Academy of Palm Beach as head of school. (That is the "acamy" to which Ada refers.) There is currently a preschool and we plan to open Kindergarten and Grade 1 for the coming school year. And so, a new Jewish day school is born in an area that has the fourth-largest Jewish population in the U.S.! Sadly, only about 32 percent of the county's Jews are affiliated with a synagogue. And with the number of Jewish children there having increased over 60 percent in the past ten years, we have our work cut out for us. I will be Director of Curriculum Development and will be splitting my time by teaching our first grade class.

So how do I feel? Thrilled and excited about this wonderful opportunity and the purpose we aim to fulfill. Happy for my family to be living in a place that is more laid back. Sad for my family to be living so far away from our family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) in New York and Pennsylvania. Proud that my family will become a living kiddush Hashem, with His help. Nervous about adjusting to living on my own without the huge support system I currently enjoy and about managing the logisitics of a long-distance move almost single-handedly (Dovid is going into seclusion as soon as yeshiva lets out in June to cram for his semicha test this summer.)!

Thankfully, with all these powerful emotions threatening to turn me into a pile of useless overwrought nerves, I have very little time to feel or even think too much. I have been so insanely busy working for the Hebrew Academy, I have little time for anything!

One thing I do know: The Hebrew Academy of Palm Beach will be the most awesome school in the county. We're aiming for - and will stop at nothing less than - academic excellence and character-building. We care about each individual child and working with families as partners in each child's Jewish and secular education. I am quite confident that our children will love to learn and learn to love their rich Jewish heritage.

I'm off to Palm Beach next week for a few days. Don't miss me too much while I'm there. Ha! As if! ;)

So literal

At the hotel, in the children's dining room, as I'm bringing some chicken over to Ada (2 1/2):

Me: Ada, look! I got you the best chicken in the house.

She (laughing at the "joke"): Dis not a house!

A short while later...

Me (hugging her to pieces): I love you, baby doll.

She (looking at me like I'm an idiot): I not a doll, I'm a Ada!

On Thursday, March 29th, the last day of school before Pesach vacation, Sari was telling me about her day at school. The class had held a mock seder with crackers and grape juice and all the fun things that happen during the seder. She said, "We had a geshmack seder at school today!"

"Oh?" I said. "What's that?"

She was pleased to be ready with her reply, "It means a pretend seder."

Future blogger?

My school was giving away some (really) old iMacs. Not one to turn down a freebie, I figured I'd bring it home for the kids to play with and learn to type on, etc.. They were absolutely overjoyed when they saw it. As I was putting it together, they were dancing around me excitedly. When I turned it on, Mordechai caught his breath in a little gasp and looked at me with shining eyes and said, "Does this mean we can have our own blogs?"

Looks like I'm headed down the same road taken by the PT family. G-d help the blogosphere.;)

Quotes

Sari and Ada went down the hall to visit Penina. Apparently she wasn't home because no one answered their knocks. Sari came back to the door and was holding it open, urging Ada to come back home while Ada was stubbornly holding her ground. After a moment or two of this, Sari called out:

Mom, I need some assistance.

Me (surprised to hear her use that word): Assistance, eh? Where did you hear that? Who says that?

Sari (with a mischievous twinkle in her eye): Daddy says that to you.

Me: He does? When?

Sari: When I'm not going to bed!

Suicide jumper

If you have a weak stomach, then don't click on this. It is a picture of a suicide jumper taken shortly after he landed. It shows him with his insides now on the outside. The looks of horror on the faces of the bystanders are quite graphic.

I Hate Socks

I have yet to do a load of laundry where each sock is paired with a matching sock. I keep the loners in a special singles' bag hoping that they'll one day find their zivug hagun (proper match). The crowd grows and grows and the singles problem is getting out of hand. These socks need shidduchim desperately. And I am losing my mind!

That's all. Just had to get that off my chest.

Ever since she discovered how to use the camera phone...

Several weeks ago, Mordechai celebrated with his class and rebbe upon getting his first chumash. A proud day, to be sure.




More recently, Mordechai didn't suck his thumb at night for a whole week and so he was due for a prize. His first request was for a guitar. I suggested that, since he has only recently started learning how to play the keyboard, he might want to spend more time mastering that before moving on to another instrument. Besides, it was out of my price range. His next idea was much more reasonable moneywise. He wanted ten dollars to take to school to buy a chumash just like the one he has in school! I gave him the money and he ran to the closet, got an envelope to put the money into, and sealed it shut. The next day, he came home with two dollars change and a brand new chumash to call his own. He couldn't have been more thrilled! (I don't think I could have been, either:))

The girls were wearing matching dresses the other day (my babysitter gets such a kick out of doing that), so I thought it would be great if I could get a good shot of them together. Clearly, Hashem had other plans, because I could not manage a single moment with both of them smiling and sitting normally. I've gotta' hand it to them, though. They tried. Especially Ada!

Have I got a boy for you!

The Yenta ringtone. Hee.

hattip: Ezzie

More fingerprints

Ada tripped outside today and scraped her knee a bit. Really just a graze. She totally flipped out and flew into a fit of hysteria that lasted much too long for anyone's taste. She wouldn't take a single step. When we got upstairs, she continues to scream as I treated the scrape with neosporin and a bandage. That usually does the trick, but, this time, even that didn't cut it. She insisted on being carried around all evening and talked in this pathetic little voice as if to say, "Can't you see that I'm wounded and need extra attention?" (For those of you ready to call ACS and report me for child neglect, I did trick her into taking some steps and putting weight on her legs. She was fine.) Seriously, if ever I saw such a drama queen...!

When I recounted my tale to my mom she had no sympathy for me. She said that I had been just like that. She distinctly remembers a time when I cried and carried on for over an hour in the car on the way home from some trip because I said my knee was hurting so badly from a fall. When we finally got home and I pulled off my tights, I stopped crying and started giggling in relief. "Look, Mommy! There's no blood!" My pain had miraculously dissipated.

Mordechai's rebbe met up with Dovid today in yeshiva and told over the following conversation he had had today with Mordechai:

Mordechai: Is it okay to ask a rebbe when his birthday is?

Rebbe: The Torah doesn't say you can't but it's not so nice to ask older people because it's considered a private question.

Rebbe: Why? Does it make a difference?

Mordechai: Not really. I just wanted to know your birthday so I could tell my mother to bake a cake.

Genetic fingerprints

When my younger brother, Mordechai the Elder, was in fifth grade, his rebbe offered the class a challenge. Any boy who memorized all the mishnayot in masechet Yuma would get a set of Mishnayot to own. This was announced on Friday. Mordechai decided that he wanted that set of Mishnayot. I can still see him in my mind's eye, sitting at the top of the stairs all Shabbat afternoon with sefer in hand, memorizing away. He earned his beautiful big set of Mishnayot in school that very Sunday.

I could not say that I was that way. Not that I wasn't determined to do things, I just tended to do things at the last minute rather than doing them early and getting things out of the way. My idea of being a conscientious student was waking up the day of the final at 7:00, meeting my good buddy Malky at Dunkin Donuts, enjoying a chocolate cream-filled donut, and reading through the notes at warp speed so we'd at least have read it once before our 9:00 exam. Hey, it worked for us.

Fast forward to 2007. Six Flags offers a free ticket to students who read 6 hours for pleasure independently. They require each student to submit a form that includes the dates, books read, time spent, and signature of parent or teacher. Back in December, when Mordechai first brought home the form, he calculated the days until the date the form was due and how long he would have to read each day to fulfill the requirements and earn a free ticket. He got to work enthusiastically that night reading a pile of books. Somehow, that initial enthusiasm had faded by the next day and the whole program was forgotten.

Until last week.

The form was due February 2nd. Mordechai came home on February 1st and announced that he planned to read for 3 hours and 30 minutes that night. I was a bit skeptical that he would manage that. He insisted that it was no problem. I pointed out that even if he did get the ticket, the chances that anyone would actually take hime to Six Flags were rather remote. He said that he already worked it out with a kid in school whose mom had said she would pay the fifty dollars for her own ticket and take them to the park.

As soon as his homework, keyboard lesson, and dinner were out of the way, he buckled down with a book. He chose a book I had bought him (at his request) about the United States' presidents. He did not understand a word he was reading and mispronounced a good deal of them, but he was reading. After an hour(!) or so of that, I suggested he read something that he might understand so that it would be a bit more interesting. I compiled a collection of books for him that were more age-appropriate. He did not spend a moment that night without a book in his hands. Every so often he would ask me how many minutes he was up to. He went to bed with a book and was still up reading when Dovid came home at around 9:15. Finally, with twenty minutes to go, I made him go to sleep with the promise that I'd wake him early so he could finish in the morning. He was up an hour earlier than usual to make sure he'd have enough time and then he woke me (*!@#$%) to sign the paper.

Mission accomplished.

Anyone wanna' take a really cute and determined 7-year-old kid to Six Flags this summer? (Some restrictions apply.)

Hee, hee. (for geeks only)

“God’s omniscient justice is, to our limited understanding, almost indistinguishable from randomness.”

I just found this quote at a blog I discovered tonight. Really hits the nail on the head, doesn't it? The blog is a collection of divrei Torah. The blogger tells his readers: The Internet is treif, but you might as well see a good Dvar Torah while you're here. Heh.

I actually found that one through another blog upon which I stumbled tonight.

Speaking of blogs that have newly come to my attention, this one has become a regular read for me. I think the blogosphere is at its best when it's used as a medium for giving support and advice. I think it's wonderful when you're given the opportunity to have meaningful conversations that can't or won't take place in your real life for whatever reason.

The pragmatist

Check out this gem from Mordechai.

The fine art of photography

I have just spent almost an hour at this blog. One enjoyable tidbit: illusions are amazing, are they not?

How observant are you?

Wow. This was fun and eye-opening.

Here's an interesting clip. You'll need about 9 minutes, though.



Hat tip: ayaldatova

Update.

It is rather gratifying to know that some people have actually missed me. I'm not sure what exactly precipitated my blogging slump. Things were hectic and stressful around chez May for a while. In fact, they still are, pretty much. :)

As far as the kids go, they're as adorable as ever. Ada just blows us away with her total cuteness. She is convinced that she is in charge and everyone should bend to her will. She is at her cutest when she's in the midst of some pretend play.

Sari is so sunnily cheerful that she is truly a pleasure. Her teachers absolutely adore her. They say she's the model student: follows directions, gets along with everyone, sings by circle time, cleans up by clean-up time, participates in every activity with genuine eagerness. And, when she comes home, she unfailingly bounds in with a huge smile and begins to rattle off all the exciting things she learned that day! Her retention and recall of the material is amazing, too.

Mordechai is so grown up, it's crazy. He had a mesibat chumash (celebration upon the occasion of beginning to study the text of the Torah) a few weeks ago. Of course, I cried. Am I a weirdo, or what? He's doing well, b"H. His strongest area is still math. He just gets it. Really gets it. He adds and subtracts multiple digit numbers in his head. He has been dabbling in multiplication. (I was doing a puzzle a few weeks ago when he asked me if 15 times 20 is 300. I was totally shocked and then he explained how he knew that. He had counted the pieces along the width and length of the puzzle and realized that by multiplying those numbers he would get the amount of pieces in the puzzle. Then he just had to look at the puzzle box for the answer!) He can calculate the price of several items, decide what to give to pay for them, and calculate the change he gets. He also knows how to exchange money. I'll challenge him by, say, telling him I have no dimes or no nickels or that I'd rather save my quarters for the meters and have him work around that. He's been telling time for at least two years. By telling time, I mean he can read a standard face clock, with or without numbers, to the minute. He can also tell you how long it will take to reach a specified time. This becomes very useful when he's counting down the minutes till Dad comes home.

Mordechai has taken up keyboard lessons, sponsored by his Savta (my mom). He really likes it. However, he does not like to practice what he's supposed to, ie. what is assigned by his teacher. He basically likes to play the songs he knows well over and over. I think it's the perfectionist in him (genetic, you think?). I actually discovered that he does practice new things in the morning when he wakes up before I do. I have been making a huge effort to restrain myself from reminding him to practice, practice, practice. After all, this is supposed to be about fun and enjoyment, not about pressure and tension. Also, it's the classic case of trying to make up for your failings by living through your kid. I was actually pretty good at the piano (which, when I think back, my parents must have scraped to afford just so they could provide me with the opportunity) but I quit after a year or two of lessons because I was "too busy." Mmhmmm, too busy. Right.

A couple weeks ago, Dovid and I took a huge step and went away for a weekend for the first time without the kids. It actually was more of a business trip than a pleasure trip. I was so nervous about leaving the kids. Turns out, they were just fine. Mordechai had one rough breakout on Friday night when he started flipping out that Ada was gonna cry and scream when Savta would put her to bed and Savta wouldn't know what to do, etc.. It took a little while (and a bribe) to get him to relax. He didn't truly relax, though, until after Ada was sound asleep. By some miracle, Ada actually went to sleep without so much as a whimper, which is rather uncharacteristic as of late. Only then did he allow himself to joke and enjoy his time. My brother and sister-in-law were so thoughtful and came over to my mom for Shabbat so that my mother would have extra hands and the kids would entertain each other. Sari and her cousin Devorah (will be 3 in the spring) were inseparable. They had a perfect relationship going. Sari basically directed and Devorah readily complied (I'm the mommy, you're the sister and so on). Ada, who was my biggest concern, was actually quite manageable. No major tantrums or meltdowns to speak of. Of course, my mom insists she ate nothing all weekend but Mom is not so reliable when reporting about that department. I've seen her feed kids two servings of chicken, half a sweet potato, and a half cup of blueberries and then shake her head in despair that the child didn't taste a morsel of food all day. I kid you not. As far as Dovid and me, we missed the kids more than they missed us. Friday night kiddush was the worst. I actually had tears in my eyes when it came time to bless the kiddies. It took a while for the lump in my throat to subside, too. On Sunday, at the end of our weekend, we couldn't wait to get home to the kids.

What's in a name?

There have been plenty of discussions about blog names. Mine is so annoyingly dumb. With my new move to blogger beta, I'm considering a name change. May Hay Day? Mayflowers? Okay, I need some help here. Any ideas?

My menorah! It's not new, but "The Latkes" is a band that can't be beat ;)

Clean-up time

We were expecting an important guest that was interviewing us for a position. I was kind of stressing out about getting the place in order. (I actually considered using my neighbor's apartment which is always immaculate, but decided it would be tough to explain the large number of pictures of a different couple around the entire apartment.) Mordechai came up with a plan:

"Don't worry. We'll just make the closets messier and the room will be neater!"

It's all under control

I was in my bedroom tidying up while the kids were playing in the living room. Ada (2) waddled into the room and announced to me, "Muchai bozzing Sayi." (translated from kidspeak: Mordechai is bothering Sari).

Me (concentrating on the pile of socks that seemed to have not a single pair): Mmhmm.

Ada (with added emphasis to convey a strong sense of urgency): Mommy, Muchai bozzing Sayi!

Me (shaking my head over the socks): *sigh*

Ada (giving up): I go tell Muchai.

With that, she bustled off importantly. And I was left to deal with my socks with the knowledge that Ada had everything in hand. Such a help, that little one ;).

How long?

My uncle Menachem is visiting from Israel with my Aunt Nechama and their baby Dovi. Menachem is something of a clown and drives everyone crazy sometimes. We were at my mom's house today and so got to see them.

Menachem to Mordechai: How old are you now?

Mordechai: Six.

Menachem: How long did it take you to become six?

Mordechai: Two years.

Menachem: Two years? How do you figure that?

Mordechai: Well, the last time you were here I was four!

(How he remebered that Menachem was here about two years ago is beyond me.)

Jihad on our soil

Can you believe this? Crazy, man. Crazy.

Ma Rabu Ma'asecha

These photos are totally awe-inspiring. Discovered their existence here.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Hot Chanies revisited

For those of you who are not regular blog-junkies and have not yet heard the term Hot Chanie^TM, here's where it originated. Hot Chanies are back in the bloglight since the printing of an article in the Jerusalem Post. There are plenty of opinions to keep you busy for a bit. The following is my comment, originally from the thread at Ask Shifra, where I first happened upon the whole affair.

I'm of the opinion that it certainly is the job of a husband to point out how lack of tznius affects men and the implications of that for both unmarried and married men. It is a discussion that should be held in private. Of course, that means that the hubbie has to be on board. Two things the husbands should beware of:
1. Dictating what wife can/can't wear. "Don't wear this and only wear that" is doomed to failure. The emphasis should strictly be focused on how certain things can create problematic situations. "I wonder if women are aware of how men are affected when they wear....". Note how "you" does not even play a role in the conversation.
2. Complimenting one's wife's appearance most when she is dressed inappropriately is reinforcement in the wrong direction. We call that talking out of both sides of your mouth. The point is to make your wife feel that she looks beautiful especially when she is dressed tastefully and appropriately. Dressing appropriately does not preclude looking good. (Rebbetzin Tehila Jager is such a wonderful example of this. She spoke beautifully once on the topic of tznius for our yeshiva's sisterhood. I wish I remembered some of the points that made such an impact on me then :(.)

I think it's unfortunate that such an important topic is being addressed in that "fundamentalist" way that seems to characterize the approach of some people in leadership positions today. That approach is guaranteed to alienate the people who most need guidance to foster an inner sense of self-worth and modesty so that they begin to appreciate themselves what tznius is all about.

Our family's yeshiva, Chofetz Chaim, has a very nice program in place that provides the forum needed to address issues, including "delicate" ones. Every so often, one of the rosh yeshivas will call a married guy va'ad. Basically, it's a discussion group where a specific topic is addressed. Guys are encouraged to submit topics which they would like to discuss. It's a great way to provide suggestions in a gentle, non-threatening environment. The va'ads are also an opportunity for guys to ask questions and get practical ideas for applications of principles set forth. Each guy can share the ideas from the va'ad over dinner with his wife. The key ingredient which I believe makes this sort of forum successful is the smallness of the unit. That is, rather than having an entire community gather in a huge auditorium to listen to speeches, this set-up provides the opportunity for a real give and take, making it all more personal and, therefore, more effective. These kind of discussion groups can be held periodically by shuls or other smaller community groups.

Just a thought.

Earth tells it like it is

Thanks to people with too much time on their hands, there's a site that will spell out a message for you using satellite images of actual buildings around the world. They use the very awesome services that are available to all. And so, the very Earth proclaims from the rooftops:











Hat tip: Sarah

A public reading

Computer rehab - a complete case study

This past summer, I was in camp. I had my computer with me but it wasn't much fun without my good, ol' friend, Internet. Other folks, who were also living in the family house, actually did have high-speed connections but I didn't feel comfortable using their computers for more than a quick email check. It was disconcertingly depressing. Finally, at the end of July, I decided that I was really being ridiculous and I should just splurge the forty dollars it would take to hook up.

The cable guy came to run the line into my corner of the FH. Of course, he needed to finish the thing by configuring it with my computer. For some reason, though, my computer seemed to be in a deep sleep. When I tried to power up, some of the lights would blink at me and then roll over and go back to sleep. I continued to poke it, yell at it - I even thought about pouring ice water on its face! - all to no avail. I borrowed someone else's laptop to finish up with the cable guy. So now I had an internet line but my computer was out. I was sure it was a temporary illness.

Over the next few days I hoped for a spontaneous recovery. Clearly, the AC adaptor was not managing to charge the battery. I thought it was because the power port had shifted slightly so as not to allow the plug to fit completely into the port. So I was trying to figure out a way to shift it back. I started to take apart the laptop - at least that's what I thought I was doing when I took out the screws in the bottom panel of the casing. I realized that taking apart a computer was not that simple. I consulted with the resident camp geek who suggested that perhaps I should shave down the rubber around the plug to see if it'll fit into the jack better that way. When that didn't work, he gave me his opinion that I was in big trouble because the power port is supposed to be soldered to the motherboard which is a major part to replace. Not very encouraging.

I won't even go into the whole saga with Dell "customer service" because Blogger might crash from the length of the post and the whole story is just too distressing. I'm working it all out in private therapy sessions.

A few weeks later, in preparation for going back home to the city, I called to cancel my internet service. To vent my frustration to the friendly voice on the phone, I mentioned that I hadn't actually used the service because my computer was in a coma the entire time. Well, whaddya' know? The voice told me that, if that was the case, my fee would be waived entirely. What a nice voice!

When we got back to the city, I made some phone calls to various computer doctors. They were all charging a hundred bucks just to look at my computer, may cost more to fix it, and there were no guarantees. So that route was out of the question. I did some of my own research online (at my neighbor's house) and realized that my problem was a fairly common one. Apparently my power port jack had loosened from the system board a.k.a. motherboard and would need to be soldered back on.

The next step was the resident yeshiva geek (that would be Chofetz Chaim yeshiva) who said he'd be happy to do the job. He said that the actual soldering job was a matter of minutes but disassembling and reassembling the computer would take a really long time and would have to wait until he had a large block of time to devote to the project. When I asked if he thought I could do that part by myself he said he couldn't say but if I wanted, I could give it a try.

And try I did. He wasn't kidding when he said it would take a long time. It was painstaking labor, really. I started getting a little concerned when I realized that not all of the screws were the same size and that the parts didn't seem like they belonged in any particular place. Since I couldn't name a single part, I couldn't intuitively know where it would belong. So I came up with the idea of taping the screws to a paper and labeling them using such descriptions as "to the right side of the rainbow-shaped copper thingie next to the round silver things that look like alien antennae". I also took pictures right before I took things apart so I would know what it was supposed to look like when the time came to put it back together. That bright plan met its death when I ran out of space on my memory card and it was way to late to wake my neighbor up to empty the memory onto her computer. That was really neither here nor there because, eventually, I got stuck. That is to say, I couldn't figure out what to do next and the system board wasn't out. I went to bed, exhausted (mostly emotionally).

The next evening, unwilling to concede defeat, I tried to find instructions for taking apart the computer online. Turns out, Dell actually has service manuals for just this sort of thing available online! I found the spot where I was up to in the disassembly process and took it from there. At long last, I was able to lift the system board. I learned the hard way that, in order to take out the motherboard, everything must come out. No exceptions.

I wrapped the system board in a ziploc bag and then in a towel for cushioning. The computer recommended a static-free bag but how the hell I'm supposed to know what that is, much less where to find it, is beyond me. I sent it off with Dovid to yeshiva.

Word came back that the power jack had all its tabs torn off and could not simply be soldered back on. It would have to be replaced. A research project on the various models of power jacks and the computer models to which they belong, a trip to Ebay and several days waiting for shipment followed. The jack was sent to yeshiva. A day after Yom Kippur, my system board came home with a new power jack soldered on. (I also got some feedback from one of my yeshiva contacts that the computer geek thought I was absolutely nuts. When I called him on it, he amended it to "persistent." Is that a compliment? I wasn't sure. I have a sneaking suspicion he just meant weird.)

At this point, I had an array of (hopefully) healthy laptop pieces:


The final operation took about an hour. When the final stitches were in place, I checked around and, thankfully, there were no extra parts or screws still lying around. I went home, dug up the AC adaptor, which had been gathering dust from lack of use, and plugged my laptop in. A bright green light shown right next to the charging battery symbol and, boy, was it beautiful.

I like it

How 'bout you?

Treats & Trivia

Last year, my friend Hindi called me with this crazy idea. She asked me to hold a little party for friends that involved playing some kind of trivia game. I guess, in retrospect, I see where she was coming from. I love trivia games and I love parties, especially if there's food involved. I'm just not usually the initiator. When she explained to me that it was to benefit a worthy organization that offers services and support to couples challenged by infertility, I agreed. She did tell me that she'd done it the year before and had a great time, but I was skeptical.

The scheduled evening arrived. I had gotten a packet mailed to me that I was to open at the party. All we did was buy some rugelach, cherry bits, and Mike & Ikes and we were set. Since it was Saturday night, there were no babysitting issues because the hubbies were home (ours was an all girls affair although it certainly doesn't have to be). We opened up the packet to find a whole set of trivia questions. They were set up so cleverly and covered a huge range of topics. Once we decided that we were going to give it our all, our adrenaline pumped full blast for three hours straight, until our time was up. Every cell-phone in the house was in use, the encyclopedias and dictionaries were out, math brains were scribbling away at figures, the fashionistas were spewing forth their knowledge. We were quite a team! When everyone had gone home, I pulled out my fax machine to fax our answers in. As you may have guessed, we placed first in the US. Oh, and my skepticism was out the window. We had so much fun! All in all, 75,000 dollars was raised that night for the organization.

To all my (12) readers out there, get together a group of family and friends and join in this worthy effort. Trust me, you'll love it. It's the most "painless" mitzvah you'll ever perform! Let me know how your party goes....

Chocolate Cake Lovers Score!

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who heeded my call. Your tireless efforts have paid off. This is big news for kosher kitchens!